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Can you win an argument, even a small one when you are not supposed to win but the fairness matters? Losing means you get more humble. Losing means you gain more perspective. Knowing that losing a custody case can be devastatingly painful for a lawyer and the legal team. Always prepare emotionally for the outcome to be less than favorable.


So you can share these experiences with those needing it most. There are great times. There are moments in time when you know you have done something special. You faced your client’s life’s most important obstacles and you make a difference. Gratitude from our clients is gratifying, heart-warming, and affirming. Brian D. Perskin.


Gratitude will not sustain you over your career. Keep in mind, gratitude doesn’t make us better at our craft. Getting better at our craft requires reading books, articles, and attending conferences. Never sit back on your laurels. Time is too short and there’s too much to learn and do. For one, family law is constantly changing.

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From estate planning, probate and taxes. To employment law and social security. Study pension law. Pensions, professional practices, deferred compensation plans, and a number of valuable assets will be divided in divorce. All family lawyers need to have to know what technical requirements goes into a divorce settlement for creating a separate interest in pensions.


Locating assets may require the services of a private investigator. Valuing assets may require forensic accountancy. Or a lifestyle audit performed to find hidden assets. Never stop reading, learning, and exploring the “dark corners” of your knowledge. Know the rules of evidence. Work on your negotiating skills. Parenting plans, alimony, asset and debt division can all be settled through negotiation.


Be prepared for expert witnesses, such as child custody evaluators, mental health professionals, and forensic accountants. Keep improving your understanding of financial matters and accounting. Learn to interpret financial information and documentation and articulate these issues in court. Learn various deposition tactics. Become competent at drafting complex custody provisions. In court, we are facing our own fears, insecurities, and inner demons.

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We must be at our best every time. There is no option. We don’t call in sick. We don’t get time outs. We must face our shortcomings in real time. After 25 years of practicing family law, the night before a trial, I have still trouble sleeping. At the court house, right before trial begins, I still feel like throwing up.


Yes, I have a competitive personality. I hate to lose. I mean I really hate to lose. reference When I lose, really lose, it stays with me for days maybe even weeks. I process what I need to get better at my craft. THAT is what it means, at its core, to be a family law attorney.


If you’re in law school, take a course in family law. Participate in moot court. Work on your public speaking skills. Study mediation and alternative dispute resolution techniques. ADR is an essential component of family law. Read books published by the ABA Family Law Section. Before committing to a career find out here now in family law, consider volunteering.

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Find out if your personality and professional objectives are a match for family law. Do you genuinely connect with it? Younger attorneys should work at developing professional relationships with lawyers you respect and trust. Attend national conferences like the ABA Family Law Section’s Spring and Fall Conference. Support your local and state bar helpful resources associations’ efforts in community outreach.


Be a leader. Teach, write, and speak on family law topics. Always remember why clients come to you for assistance. It’s the “family” in family law that makes the practice meaningful. Along with all the issues involved in divorce, be ready for anything. A parent isn’t complying with the parenting plan.


Grandparents want meaningful time with their grandchildren. A client wants to establish paternity and obtain custody. A parents needs to modify custody and child support orders. A couple wants to adopt a child. Or a client seeks separate maintenance, annulment, or asks you to review a prenup. As you can see, family law attorneys wear many hats.

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No day is ordinary. Because every case is unique, attorneys need to know their stuff. Brian D. Perskin. Family law attorneys routinely appear at hearings. They consult with experts. And there are trials. Despite every effort to settle all aspects of the case, litigation and trial will always be necessary to resolve outstanding issues.


Especially custody trials. In settlement negotiations, we expect parties to give their best efforts. And that’s usually what happens. Even so, some things make it hard for everyone to move forward. Attorneys included. The greatest challenge for the attorney is when one spouse or the other lawyer is intransigent – refusing to compromise on even smaller issues.